The Frozen Daffodil
by Domabaem
Summary: Toushirou needs some time for himself and decides to visit his old home. Suddenly Zaraki appears and starts to fight with him. ZaraHitsu. Soft shonen ai. Rate and review please! My very first fanfic ever so rate kindly! :3


**Title: **The Frozen Daffodil

**Pairing: **Zaraki/Hitsugaya

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters.

**Warnings:** Soft shonen ai, don't read if you don't like it (obviously).

**A/N****:** Taichou-captain, fukutaichou-vice captain, tsuka-the hilt of a katana, haori-the white coat that the captains wear. If you're interested in what I wrote about the daffodil you should google its meaning. This is also my first fanfic so please review it kindly :3

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><p>"Matsumoto, where are you?" The small white-haired captain looked irritated, even more than he usually did. His strides were long and proud even though his legs were short.<p>

"Over here, taichou!" a light voice yelled from the main office of the 10th division. Hitsugaya Toushiro sighed as he understood that what he had feared was very true.

"Matsumoto! It's not even noon yet and you have already got yourself drunk?" Toushiro said angrily and took the sake-bottle from his huge-breasted, and now drunk, vice captain. Matsumoto staggered to the sofa in front of Toushiro's desk.

"But, taichou~!" Matsumoto whined. Toushiro did not even have time to give a reply before Matsumoto had fallen asleep. He sighed and got to work. Those mountains of paperwork were not going to disappear no matter how much he wished for it.

Why was March always so long? Just before the rebirthing spring. The daffodil that was the sign of the 10th division suited him well. He was just like the flower, just waiting for the sun to melt the snow and give life. Not that he wanted the warmth, he actually preferred the cold, but he wanted a change. In a way, his own zanpakutou was something that delayed this with its unforgiving ice. He had often thought that maybe he was such a person who wished for a change but parts of him held him back, unwilling to change. Unwilling to let anything past that hard shell of ice that blocked everyone out from his soul.

He flinched when Matsumoto let a big snore. He had been lost in thought.

"Damn it. I got to work" Toushiro muttered and tried to get back to work. But he sighed as he understood that he would never be able to work like this. He wrote a note for Matsumoto and left it on the desk.

"_I am out but will be back soon. Please work when you wake up._

_/Hitsugaya Toushiro_"

He knew that his pleading would be in vain but at least he would have tried. He left the barracks using shunpo to not get disturbed by anyone. He did not want to talk to anyone. Ever since they got back from the fake Karakura Town and the fight against the Espada he had felt a bit hollower inside every day. He could not forget those eyes of that woman, Halibel. They had been like his, cold, alone but also determined. Her resemblance frightened him because they reminded him of how much he disliked himself. It had not been an easy win. She had forced him to use so much more power than he would normally use in a fight. It had scared him. But what was it that had scared him? Death? No. To lose? Maybe. Perhaps it was that he feared that he would loose and that his cold-eyed enemy would go rampage and kill everyone he cared about; Momo, Matsumoto, Ukitake and everyone else. Another regular nightmare was how he victoriously thought that he had stabbed the traitor Aizen and instead he had stabbed Momo. That scene kept repeating in his dream and it became more powerful and more real every time. He had lost count of how many times he had woken up with his pulse racing and sweating.

Without noticing it he had walked back to the house he had lived in with Grandmother and Momo. The house stood empty and lonely. He could see how he, Momo and Grandma ate watermelon on the porch. Toushiro gasped surprised when Hyorinmaru lightly touched his mind.

_Are you alright?_

"Yes, I am fine" Toushiro said and sighed so deep that his lock of white hair was affected.

He sat down on the porch and looked up to the sky. He felt Hyorinmaru on his back and thought about how they had met. He could not remember if he had been warm inside before that meeting. All of the cold he had been filled with afterwards had erased those memories. That cold was now a part of him, a part of his whole being. Some was afraid of that cold and Toushiro knew that it was out of self-preservation. Even though his cold could create beautiful things, it could also destroy. Toushiro reached out and touched a small flower beneath the stairs to the porch. It became a statue of ice and it would never ever change. At least not on its own.

Suddenly a very powerful reiatsu approached. Toushiro flew to his feet with one hand on Hyorinmaru's tsuka. The reiatsu was familiar but its greatness put Toushiro's mind out of balance and he could not remember where he knew it from before the person stood in front of him.

"What're you doin' all the way out here, kid?" Zaraki Kenpachi asked and scratched his neck with his usual mocking grin. His reiatsu was really impressing.

"It is Hitsugaya-taichou for you. And I do not see how that is any of your business, Zaraki-taichou" Toushiro replied coldly. Kenpachi pointed at Toushiro's hand which was still on the tsuka and said;

"A little edgy, aren't we?" Toushiro ignored the smirk even though he was annoyed by it. He let go of the tsuka and straightened from his crouching position. He shot a gaze at the frozen flower. It was still the same. Unchanging no matter what happened around it. Was that what he wanted? To be unchanging no matter how his surroundings were? He stared at the huge man in front of him. Those bells sure looked quite ridiculous. Those dark green eyes were…. Dangerous. Like they could devour anyone without a second thought. But also alive, very unlike his own. Some days he even had a hard time seeing his reflection in the mirror, afraid to meet those lifeless, dead eyes. What was this brute doing all the way out here anyway? From what Toushiro had observed, this man had no sense of direction. He was probably just lost. Toushiro could not see his little fukutaichou anywhere which was very unusual. From what he had seen Kenpachi did not go far without her.

"No, don't be so boring, kid! Draw your sword and fight me!" Kenpachi said grinning.

"Are you out of your mind?" Toushiro asked and took a step back as Kenpachi drew his ragged katana. The tiny bells in his hair chimed as he stepped forward.

"You are gonna want to defend yourself, kid", he laughed and charged at Toushiro. The white-haired boy barely avoided the attack and he clenched his teeth and unsheathed Hyorinmaru most unwillingly.

"That's the spirit!" Kenpachi roared and sprinted forward with his sword raised.

What the hell was happening? Toushiro blocked a ridiculously powerful blow from Kenpachi and jumped several metres back. He had analyzed this man, just like all of the other persons he had met. Zaraki Kenpachi. Toushiro had a really hard time understanding this man, what drove him forward. He was simple-minded yet so complicated. Toushiro found himself a little bit confused but also fascinated by him. Some part of him wanted to know this man, figure out what made him tick, but the rest of him told him strictly to keep away. That man was an unnecessary risk that he would be better off ignoring. But even though he did try to convince himself with those thoughts, he still found himself admiring Kenpachi. That big manly body and huge muscles were a bit… Attractive. Toushiro felt stupid and blushed a little at the thought.

"C'mon, kid! This ain't gonna cut it. You'll get hurt if you don't fight!" Kenpachi laughed and struck again. This time Toushiro could not withstand the collision and he was blown off his feet into the wall of the house. The walls were brittle and the house collapsed on top of him. When all of the wood had stopped falling Toushiro could not feel if he was hurt or not. Either he was unhurt or so badly hurt that he could not feel it. He pushed a plank off him with huff. He seemed unhurt but he did not stand up. He was going to have to really use his head to get out of this mess without causing any problems.

"That couldn't have been enough to kill you, kid" Kenpachi shouted. "Get back here so we can keep going!"

Toushiro could not help it but his eyebrow twitched in annoyance. He had already called him kid a number of times know and he did not talk to him with any respect at all. He was going to have to teach Kenpachi a lesson. Kenpachi's mocking face showed surprise for a second before it became a face of a thrilled fighter.

"That's it! That's the eyes I want to see. Those eyes burning with cold, piercing me with spears of ice!" Kenpachi yelled with almost a trembling voice. Toushiro could not understand Kenpachi's excitement. There was nothing thrilling about this. Kenpachi was coming at him but Toushiro knew that if any of them got hurt or even killed the other, it would cause great commotion and a lot of paperwork which he had no time to deal with.

"Stop this, Zaraki-taichou. This is foolish and the results will be unpleasant" Toushiro said calmly. He made an attempt to sheath his sword but Kenpachi rushed at him as soon as he tried to break his battle stance. He parried each and every one of Kenpachi's blows and his muscles complained more and more. Kenpachi may lack technique but his brutish power was overwhelming.

"Zaraki!" He ignored titles. "Stop now!"

"Are you afraid that you'll lose, whitey-_chan_?" Kenpachi smirked. Only Momo and _maybe_ Ukitake were allowed to call him that. That man was going down. Toushiro let out a roar and charged at Kenpachi who blocked Hyorinmaru with a grunt. The fighting continued and they were equal. No one had the upper hand, but at least Toushiro had both his shikai and bankai, unlike Kenpachi. He did not want to use Hyorinmaru's destructive ice against Kenpachi if he could avoid it but things were really getting rough. He jumped up high in the air.

"Reign over the frozen sky, Hyorin-!"

Before Toushiro could activate his shikai, Kenpachi kicked him in the gut. Toushiro crashed down on the ground with tremendous power. His head hurt and his vision was blurry. He could see how Kenpachi took ground beside him.

"Looks like this was my win, kid" Kenpachi said and reached out his hand towards Toushiro's face as everything went black.

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><p>Toushiro could feel his body again but he could not make it move. It felt like that morning after Matsumoto had tricked him into drinking. He did not think that his body was damaged so badly but he had hit his head hard. He could feel hands moving over his body, tending to his wounds. Had Matsumoto found him all the way out here? No, these hands were bigger and rougher than Matsumoto's feminine hands. The hands had bandaged him and he wanted to take the bandages off. They felt so tight, like they would strangle him or something.<p>

The hands gently stroke the features of his face. It felt good. But had the face been damaged? He did not feel any pain from it nor did the hands meet any irregularities on the skin. Then, something big approached his face, he could feel it but he was still too deep in unconsciousness to react. Toushiro felt something soft yet rough on his lips. The other lips felt curious like they just wanted to explore whatever they touched, in this case Toushiro's child-like lips. They had a tingling feeling and Toushiro wanted to wake up so badly to feel them for real. It was hard to think and all this made no sense. The only one who could be touching him was Zaraki Kenpachi, but the way these hand touched him there was no way that they could belong to that brute. Toushiro finally managed to open his eyes. Even though his vision was blurry, that scarred face could not be mistaken.

"Zaraki-taichou, what is-?"

A hand silenced Toushiro.

"You should take it easy, lil' captain. You hit your head pretty badly. Rest some more."

The voice sounded just like Zaraki Kenpachi's but it was so calm and gentle, like a calm and deep ocean. Toushiro could not help himself and fell back into the deep unconsciousness.

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><p>It was dark when Toushiro woke up again. For real this time. The starry sky was beautiful and there was a warm breeze that swept through his white hair. He was all alone. For a moment he almost doubted that the events of this afternoon had actually taken place. But when he saw the wrecked house there was no doubt anymore. Also, he was bandaged and someone had taken off his haori and wrapped him up in it. He stood up and shook the dust of the haori and put it on and felt himself grow a few inches as he did every time he put it on. He looked up to the sky and sighed. Had Kenpachi really kissed him? Had those rough hands made for killing, really been so kind? Was it not like Toushiro had thought? His image of Kenpachi had not been clear but he could not really imagine him being kind and gentle.<p>

Something called for him. Toushiro walked over to the ruins of the house and lifted a few planks and he could see that the frozen flower was still intact. He almost felt like crying. All this commotion had not been able to change the flower. Was he also doomed to never change?

"What's with that look?" a crude voice said behind him.

He turned around and looked and Kenpachi. Huge and muscular, but also something more. Gentleness. Kenpachi reached out his hand and ruffled Toushiro's hair.

"Let's go back, lil' captain" Kenpachi said and rested his hand on Toushiro's head.

"Yeah" Toushiro said almost smiling.

He may not be able to change himself, but maybe others could change him. He was the daffodil, unchanging on its own. He needed a sun so change. It was at least some hope.

_The End._


End file.
